Ask an Expert: My friend is in hearing loss denial. How can I help?
Q: What are common reasons people experience hearing loss denial?
They may be worried about how admitting they have hearing loss might affect their work, or have fears of being judged or seen differently. For some, it may even impact their confidence or sense of self.
Q: What is the social stigma of hearing loss?
Sabrina Raineri: Social stigma about hearing loss often stems from outdated notions that tie hearing changes to aging or disability. While today the medical field has made great strides in better defining hearing loss and separating it from the misguided notions of the past, those sentiments are hard to forget. Some people may hesitate to seek help with their hearing because they worry it will make them “look old” or stand out1. There’s often concern about being treated differently, spoken to more slowly, left out of conversations, or assumed to be less capable.
These feelings are completely valid, and that’s why gentle, supportive conversations and access to clear, reassuring information can make a real difference. With the right support, many people feel more comfortable taking that next step toward better hearing and a better quality of life.
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Q: How can I support someone who is in hearing loss denial?
Sabrina Raineri: Supporting someone who isn’t ready to face changes in their hearing is about being patient, understanding and ready to talk when they are. An important guiding principle is that the person who is experiencing hearing loss should always be in control of their hearing journey. Start with empathy, by acknowledging their experience: “I’ve noticed you sometimes have trouble hearing in busy places. I care about making things easier for you, what are your thoughts?”.
Avoid pointing out every misheard word, as this can make them feel defensive. Instead, normalize it by reminding them that hearing changes are common and there are positive solutions that can make daily life easier.
If your friend is in hearing loss denial, you can support them by gently sharing general information about hearing loss, without directing it at them. Speaking from a place of curiosity or knowledge, rather than instruction, can make the conversation feel more comfortable and open.
Additionally, frame your observations from your perspective as their loved one, without assuming their experience. Instead of saying “you don’t hear me when I’m in the next room”, a less accusatory phrasing like “I have noticed we communicate better when we’re in the same room.” removes the idea of blame, and allows your loved one to consider the feedback without feeling the need to defend their position.
It’s also important to give them the space and time they need to process their own feelings and experiences. Acceptance often takes time, and your patience and understanding can make all the difference. The more you listen to their valid feelings and concerns regarding their hearing, the more comfortable they will be seeking out judgement-free support from you, and the more equipped you’ll be to help your loved one reach out for resources when they’re ready.
I’ve noticed you sometimes have trouble hearing in busy places. I care about making things easier for you, what are your thoughts?
Start with empathy, by acknowledging their experience.
Q: What are the most common psychological reasons for denying hearing loss?
For some, there’s a fear of change or worry about losing independence or a part of their identity. Additionally, many feel that treating their hearing loss with hearing aids would take what is an invisible disability and make it more visible to the average passerby therefore drawing attention to their difficulties with hearing. While modern hearing aids are more discreet than ever, meaning that it’s often more noticeable not to hear than to use hearing aids, it’s difficult to understand that without first-hand experience trying on hearing devices.
Others may worry about being judged, treated differently, or seen as less capable. It’s important to remember that hearing loss is not a reflection on intelligence, cognitive ability, or social skill. The development of hearing loss can be a frustrating change in socialization, but it doesn’t change the core of who you are and what you are able to achieve.
There can also be a sense of losing control2. In many cases, accepting hearing loss means facing deeper emotions, such as the fear of isolation and change. Changes can be scary, even if they’re good. Leaning on the people closest to you for support while approaching change is the best way to face it bravely on the easy days and the harder ones.
1. International Journal of Audiology: The experience of stigma related to hearing loss and hearing aids: perspectives of adults with hearing loss, their families, and hearing care professionals (22 August 2023): https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14992027.2024.2353862 American journal of audiology: Self-Stigma and Age-Related Hearing Loss: A Qualitative Study of Stigma Formation and Dimensions (8 March 2018): https://pubs.asha.org/doi/10.1044/2017_AJA-17-0050
Seminars in Hearing: Factors Influencing Hearing Aid Adoption (2020): https://www.thieme-connect.de/products/ejournals/abstract/10.1055/s-0040-1701242
2. International Journal of Audiology: The experience of stigma related to hearing loss and hearing aids: perspectives of adults with hearing loss, their families, and hearing care professionals (22 August 2023): https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14992027.2024.2353862
